The Heart of a Snake
by Punk Rock Hippie
Summary: Set during The Sorcerer's Stone, Snape visits the Mirror of Erised to visit Lily. Short and to the point, inspired by a picture on a slide show.


All was quiet in the halls of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry as Severus Snape patrolled the halls. His cloak dragging noiselessly behind him. Though many of the other staff hated the night patrols, each staff member being on duty two hours a night every other day, Severus valued the time he could spend alone in the torch lit halls, time with just his thoughts and memories of his childhood in these same halls.

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This year however, he anticipated these walks every night, not only to clear his head, but to visit the mirror Dumbledore had tucked away on the fourth floor. Harry Potter had come to Hogwarts this year. Something Severus had long expected and both anticipated and feared. At the begging of term feast he got a quick glance at the Potter boy's eyes and instantly felt as if a steel blade had been driven through his heart. He ached again, as much as he had when Lily had been murdered, but not just in his heart for the girl he once knew and loved, but also with disgust for the likeness to James that Harry shared.

The first year after Lily's death he was barely able to hold himself together, going on an endless drinking binge nearly every night that almost cost him his job at Hogwarts and the friendship of Albus, the one man who gave him a second chance. He felt the same itching feeling for fire whiskey he had years ago the night of the feast and it got stronger with every passing day with the boy in his class. What's worse, Severus knew he both loved and hated the boy. He constantly caught himself singling the boy out in class, attempting to make him look like an idiot as James once had done to himself, and then would later feel guilty, as if he had betrayed Lily Evans.

Severus noiselessly arrived at the door on the fourth floor, an empty classroom that hadn't been used since the previous headmaster had served at Hogwarts and searched the corridor for a sign of Filch or his cat before silently creeping inside. The smell of mothballs instantly hit the wizards nose as his eyes adjusted to the complete darkness compared to the dimly lit corridor outside. After a moment, his eyes spotted the mirror he so desperately sought out.

A gold full length mirror sat in the center of the room, an ancient and dusty inscription at the top read: _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. _Severus held back a whimper as he stepped in front of the mirror and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen stared back at him from behind the glass. Thick red hair fell onto the shoulders of a beautiful white dress, and almond shaped green eyes, the eyes the Potter boy had, peered back at him. Severus attempted to say her name aloud, bit only mouthed the word "Lily," before his legs gave out, memories long blocked out flooding back into consciousness.

He lay on the ground for nearly a whole minute clutching at his chest and then the scull and serpent on his arm as memories flooded his mind. The day he met Lily for the first time in Cokeworth, the hours the two spent together wandering the corridors of the castle, the nights of deep conversation under the stars while breaking curfew, the touch of Lily's hand on his when they were young, the look of hurt he caused her when calling her a mudblood, the lack of invite to her wedding or Harry's christening and his attempting to fight Voldemort himself but arriving at Godric's hollow too late.

Tears streaming down his face he regained his feet, most of his weight on the mirror as the tears continued to flood from his eyes. For more than a quarter of an hour the pitiful figure stood at the Mirror of Erised, with cries of "I love you," "I'm so sorry," and "Forgive me," among the gasping for breath and continuous flood of tears. At last Severus pulled himself together a bit, thinking of the night he found Lily's body and baby Harry, the night his serpent patronus changed to that of a doe he sent to Dumbledore with word of what had happened. Once last glance at the mirror and a kiss to the heavenly being in the glass and Severus turned to leave. Heading towards the door, he happened to glance up and find a beautiful painting above the door of a white doe drinking from a stream. In the left hand corner in small strokes was the name Lily Evans.

One last memory, long forgotten flooded back to mind. The day he and Lily sat in the dark forest watching the doe for one of Lily's classes. Realization came over Severus' face as he realized this must have been the old art classroom, a subject he was never good in nor bothered to take. A look of pain crossed the wizard's face again and he brought the painting down with his wand, tucking the portrait under his arm. "This will liven up my office a bit." He said aloud. _And perhaps remind me to go easier on the Potter boy. _He thought to himself. _At least for Lily's sake I'll try…he has no idea what challenges he faces nor the help he'll need. _With that, Severus checked the corridor once again and quietly crept back down to the dungeons, it now being Flitwick's shift to cover the corridors.

Arriving back to his office, Severus placed a permanent sticking charm on the back of the painting and placed it on the wall above his personal cauldron. Stepping back to admire the artwork again, a genuine smile crossed his face, the first he could remember since the Potter boy had arrived at Hogwarts. _Now I still have a piece of the beauty that was you with me at all times Lily. He thought before climbing into bed. It took over half an hour before he could fall asleep, but when he did, Severus' dreams were blessed with the good times spent back in Cokeworth on summer holidays, the long days away from his abusive father with the beautiful girl he had met at 9 years old. Not only his best friend, but the one person in life he ever truly loved more than himself. _


End file.
